I tried every flavor of Cup Noodles the 99c store sells

#1: Cup Noodles, “Very Veggie” chicken flavor

• “It’s greeeeeen”
• Taste: broccoli, corn, hot carrots, chicken broth, rubber
• Texture: rubber, wet paper, somewhat noodle/broccoli
• Smell: broccoli, corn, hot towel
• Presentation: veggies appear dry, crusty, and stale; once rehydrated, broccoli, corn, and carrots look relatively normal, but edamame appears wrinkled; noodles are slightly GREEN
• Rating: 5/10 average ramen, chicken flavor is present but lacking, rubbery-textured vegetables ruin all good aspects

#2: Cup Noodles, hearty chicken flavor

• “Okay it’s really good.”
• Taste: fan-frickin-tastic; chicken noodle soup; small green leaves of flavor; broth taste; comforting
• Texture: soft; al dente noodles; NO SPONGY VEGGIES
• Smell: uncle ben’s rice, chicken broth; eGg
• Presentation: near restaurant quality presentation; appears dig-in worthy; noodles are wider (linguine)
• Rating: 9/10; near perfect dawg; would be a 10/10 but i spilled it on my skirt which killed my vibe

#3: Cup Noodles, chicken flavor

• “I already don’t like this one.” (before eating)
• Taste: slight chicken flavor, salty pasta taste; “flavor leaves” are dank
• Texture: noodles are al dente; repulsive spongy rubber vegetables
• Smell: chicken broth and roasted peppers that have been soaked in water and all their flavor is gone
• Presentation: Yellowed; foamy; “flavor leaves” provide better presentation to look fancier
• Rating: 7.6/10 not phenomenal, killing my ramen vibe, yellow foam was off-putting

#4: Cup Noodles, “Spicy Lime” shrimp flavor

• “Spice doesn’t mean flavor.”
• Taste: spicy, but lacks flavor, slight shrimp undertone, but also chicken
• Texture: soft noodles, al dente
• Smell: chorizo, chili
• Presentation: sketchy restaurant quality, flavor leaves provide color and decoration
• Rating: 5/10, good spice, needs more flavor, should not include “green cabbage juice”??? “Spice” overpowers any flavor present including salt

#5: Cup Noodles, with shrimp

• “SMELLS LIKE PEE”
• “I can’t believe I have to eat this right now.”
• I already hate this one. 
• Taste: shrimp flavor is present and works well with noodles
• Texture: soft noodles, shrimp texture ? how? Tiny shrimp tastes like a salmon dog treat
• Smell: pee
• Presentation: nothing special, tiny shrimps are off-putting
• Rating: 4/10. If I wasn’t doing this review I would not have eaten this ramen

#6: Cup Noodles, “Hot and Spicy” shrimp flavor

• “Mediocre!”
• Taste: chili powder, spaghetti, cilantro
• Texture: flavor leaves stick to tongue, i do not enjoy this
• Smell: slight pee, chili powder
• Presentation: orange, many flavor leaves for decoration
• Rating: 5/10, mediocre
• I discovered that the flavor leaves are probably green onion

#7: Cup Noodles, beef flavor

• “Beefalicious”
• Taste: chicken noodle soup, without the chicken???
• Texture: noodles are flawlessly executed, beef is odd texture like wet jerky
• Smell: teriyaki, chicken noodle soup, glory
• Presentation: restaurant quality, would buy for $11
• Rating: 10/10, all ramens aspire to be this ramen