Photo Courtesy of Mojang
Minecraft Bees: They’re too big
September 19, 2019
POV: You’re trying to enjoy a peaceful game of Minecraft. When suddenly, you round the corner and there it is: the thing you’ve been trying to escape all day. A gang of big a-word bees barrelling towards you, each bee the size of a bowling ball. The sheer mass of one bee is just astounding; it’s utterly colossal. You take in its size… from its big, doey eyes to its enormous stinger. Something this…powerful…. this… bulky… just shouldn’t belong in a game like this. It’s too… overwhelming. Too distracting from the gameplay. The bees need to go.
Who in their right mind… who in anything OTHER than a psychopathic state… would EVER add BEES to a game whose target audience includes innocent, pure children? And not just normal bees…. Gigantic bees that are the size of BOULDERS that look like they’re primed for sin!!!! Absolutely ballistic if you ask us. Blasphemy, utter sacrilege.
As the Beeamble states, “We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect gaming nation, abolish bees, insure domestic Tranquility excluding bees, provide for the common defence against bees, promote the general Welfare of everyone but bees, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity by getting rid of bees, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.”
If the fathers of this nation did not want bees, let alone big, thick, destructo-bees, then us loyal citizens should not allow for the addition of these unwanted insects to the largest, most influential game in America.
So we beeseech Mojang: PLEASE heed our desires to abolish these horrid blockbees. If you support the wellbeeing of this country, then you will take action and execute these humongous bees.