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All content by Eleanore Hendrickson
svsjun2012

Surfer vs. Skater – May 2012

By Eleanore Hendrickson and Mae Wright
May 11, 2012

When sign makers go on strike, is there anything written on their signs? Surfer: Yes, because they make the signs… but no, because they’re on strike. Skater: No, because if they’re going on strike,...

svsmar2012

Surfer vs. Baiter – Mar. 2012

By Eleanore Hendrickson
March 30, 2012

If swearing is immature, why is it referred to as “adult language”? Surfer: F**k you, bad question. Baiter: Because it’s to show the immaturity of adults, therefore social Darwinism can take effect....

svsfeb2012

Skier vs. Snowboarder – Feb. 2012

By Eleanore Hendrickson
February 10, 2012

Can you cry underwater? Skier: Yeah, you definitely can. I know from experience. Snowboarder: No, but you can smell underwater. Skier, I don’t know what might have happened to give you this personal...

svsdec11

Surfer vs. Skater – Dec. 2011

By Eleanore Hendrickson
December 16, 2011

How do they signal Batman on a clear night? Surfer: I guess… I guess you use the Batman light thing. Skater: Pelvic thrusts. Heh. Me: Of course, Surfer! The Batman light thing! Why didn’t I think...

svsnov2011

Surfer vs. Skater – Nov. 2011

By Eleanore Hendrickson
November 14, 2011

If “con” is the opposite of “pro,” then what is the opposite of Congress? Surfer: What?…progress. Progress. Skater: Mr. Conn. I don’t know, Skater, I’m sure that there are further things...

svsmay2011

Surfer vs. Skater – May 2011

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Skater: What’s, like, a humanitarian? Surfer: Vegetarians eat veggies because they don’t like meat touching their food, so when humanitarians...

SDA vs. LCC in Comedy Sportz showdown

By Eleanore Hendrickson, CAF Co-Editor
January 14, 2011

Quick – what do three instances of parents abandoning their families, five counts of animal abuse, and a bootlegging enterprise have in common? The obvious answer would be a highly unstable family engaging...

The Anti-Oscar of 2010: Prince of Persia

By Eleanore Hendrickson, Circus Animal Fun Editor
December 16, 2010

Prince of Persia...32% Almost Anti-Oscar: Furry Vengeance...25% The Bounty Hunter...21% Killers...13% Life As We Know It...9% For a movie based on a seven-year-old video game, “Prince...

North Korean exchange students arrive

By Eleanore Hendrickson, CAF Co-Editor
December 10, 2010

From Dec. 1 to the 10, SDA played host to a group of 20 exchange students from the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, a first for the school.   “We’ve never had students from North Korea...

Bridalplasty

By Eleanore Hendrickson, Staff Writer
November 4, 2010

Today’s reality shows have rather high stakes: money, fame, glory, and the occasional opportunity to develop cirrhosis (that’s right, Snooki, drinking leads to liver disease) are all fair incentives...

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