If a picture’s worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a picture worth? Surfer: Wouldn’t it be like double? 1000… so that’s like 2000. Skater: The square root of sixteen. Skater, according...

Is there another word for synonym? Surfer: Antonym. Skater: Cinnamon. Surfer, let me help you. You are incorrect, mistaken; you boofed it. These are synonyms for WRONG. However antonyms for wrong...

If a turtle does not have a shell, is he homeless or naked? Surfer: He’s both. It’s also illegal for him to be naked, so he’ll go to jail. He’ll get a new home soon anyway. Skater: He’s confused. Surfer,...

When sign makers go on strike, is there anything written on their signs? Surfer: Yes, because they make the signs… but no, because they’re on strike. Skater: No, because if they’re going on strike,...

If swearing is immature, why is it referred to as “adult language”? Surfer: F**k you, bad question. Baiter: Because it’s to show the immaturity of adults, therefore social Darwinism can take effect....

Can you cry underwater? Skier: Yeah, you definitely can. I know from experience. Snowboarder: No, but you can smell underwater. Skier, I don’t know what might have happened to give you this personal...

How do they signal Batman on a clear night? Surfer: I guess… I guess you use the Batman light thing. Skater: Pelvic thrusts. Heh. Me: Of course, Surfer! The Batman light thing! Why didn’t I think...

If “con” is the opposite of “pro,” then what is the opposite of Congress? Surfer: What?…progress. Progress. Skater: Mr. Conn. I don’t know, Skater, I’m sure that there are further things...

If the Wicked Witch of the West melts in water, how did she ever bathe? Junior: Ah, she don’t. She’s all natural. Senior: Umm, she didn’t? I mean, yeah, she didn’t ever! (laughs) That’s really...

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Skater: What’s, like, a humanitarian? Surfer: Vegetarians eat veggies because they don’t like meat touching their food, so when humanitarians...